benihana03

There is too much left to tell.  I will continue with Phil's Ills eventually, but his name will be changed.  I mean nothing out of malice -- I am simply a writer with an obligation.  One, to tell the stories I encounter, and two, to refrain from going insane.  The former solves the latter, especially when relayed without mitigation. For now, I apologize for my slack.  Gotta track before I get in Barney Rubble.  (UK and Cockney Rhyme Slang for the uninformed.) Ben aka Benihana03

Soon, dear D.A.'ers, I will be going on a nostalgic journey of foreign beaches, first loves, and suicidal turkeys.  Care to join me?  It'll all be coming HERE (and I'll post in my submissions). If you enjoyed Phil's Ills, wait until you hear about Dustin, the French-Inhaling Comic Book Kid; Erik, who doesn't like lapdances from guys in wrestling singlets; or even Julie, my very first love, whom I met in Spain. Oh goody.  Things are gonna get interesting around here!

Somebody tipped Phil off as to his starring role in my journal.  He read the articles, got pissed, laughed a bit, got pissed some more, then passed it along to his friends.  Some of them laughed at the journals.  Some of them called me an asshole. For now, Phil's Ills must be put on hold.  I will, per Phil's pleading request (and to avoid another unfounded Bible-thumping), be pulling the column.  Rest assured, more amusing and tragic writings will be coming, but of another variety—the kind that won't make Phil keep me up until four in the A.M. with a face-kicking list of transgressions. Before I leave the subject at hand, let me paraph